ایران و ایرانی در رابطه با جهان

به انگلیسی کتابهایی هست به نام "چگونه زندگی خود را نابود کنید" که با مزاح به شما میگوید از چه رفتارهایی دوری کنید.  این رفتار ها را شما در میان ایرانیان بسیار می بینید و از دهان شعرای ایران به عنوان پند میشنوید.     ء   
http://howtoruinyourlife.com/  مثالا
رفتار ایران و ایرانی در رابطه با جهان در این مطلب دیده میشود: 
بی خیال باش، غم نخور، منفعل باش، سطحی بر خورد کن، فکر کن رئیسی، خود خواه باش، کینه داشته باش (که عرب به ما حمله کرد)، خودت را با شراب و مواد نبود کن، تو خیالات زندگی کن، مهر دیگران به خودت رو تبدیل به کاری صعب کن.                                    ء 

How To Ruin Your Life

15. Be oblivious, ignorant, apathetic – be totally unconcerned with what’s going on in the world – it will all sort itself out without you anyways.

14. Be passive – watch a lot of television.

13. Be fake, superficial, and disingenuous. Get your sense of personal identity through your material possessions.

12. Have a sense of entitlement, a huge chip on your shoulder. Look down your nose at those turds and consistently let them know what you really think of their sorry, useless asses.

11. Be spiteful. Harbor resentments. Live in the past. Hold onto grudges as if they were little life-rafts on the Titantic.

10. Be selfish. Drive a gas-guzzling SUV so that America remains dependent on third world tribes and Bedouins that sponsor terrorism.

9. Be bitter, unsatisfied, ungrateful. Complain about everything. Be a hater. The glass is always half empty and the sooner those fucking morons realize it the better.

8. Be prejudiced. Make yourself feel superior to all others by verbally degrading them – especially minorities.

7. Be a hypochondriac. Whine alot. Cry alot. Diagnose yourself with numerous psychological afflictions that you read about in Allure Magazine – and don’t be afraid to tell people that you have ADD, General Anxiety Disorder, you could be slightly Borderline and there’s a hint of Bipolarity on your mother’s side. Embrace learned helplessness and make others feel sorry for you.

6. Live in the future. Imagine and fantasize that the future will be better and more prosperous than the present. Hence, go wildly into debt – because you feel so miserable right now that there could not possibly be a bottom beneath the one you’re already at. Don’t think that that $100 blouse is actually costing you $124 ($100 plus the $24 per year your maxed-out credit card charges you in interest), think about how much self-esteem and self-worth you will acquire with a mere swipe of plastic. Bet the farm that you will happy in the future when you’re rich.

5. Be irresponsible, ineffectual, indifferent. Be late for all meetings. Show them that your time is infinitely more valuable than theirs.

4. Have no personal integrity. Steal, lie, cheat – do whatever necessary to get ahead. Do unto others as if you were constantly staking your claim for status and personal identity. Hey, they would fuck you if they had the chance so you may as well fuck them first. Fuck ‘em all. Right?

3. Be self-destructive. Drink, smoke, snort, shoot – party like it’s 1999 – and make sure you do it while driving at high speeds around crowded cities. When a cop pulls you over, be belligerent - ask him, “What’s your fucking problem, pig???!!!”

2. Make it difficult or even impossible for others to love you. Be obnoxious, be aloof, be fear-based – combine all of the best traits from the above steps and embody them to the fullest extent humanly possible. If you’re really truly committed to ruining your life, sheer irresponsibility, ignorance, and indifference will not suffice: you must pro-actively work to ostracize and offend all other sentient beings until you’ve succeeded in alienating yourself 100%.

1. Try not to be born, try to be an abortion, try to miscarry yourself, try to not even be a glint in your father’s eye. If all that fails, kill yourself as quickly as possible.


(Special bonus points for all those who in the face of complete orgasmic blissful ectasy are able to utter the words, "This too shall pass...")